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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797492">The Tannoban Mission</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLady0fShalott/pseuds/TheLady0fShalott'>TheLady0fShalott</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Action/Adventure, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Closure, Escape, Expanded Universe, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Jedi, Jude Watson - Book Series, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Rescue Missions, Star Wars: Legends - Freeform, War, missing episode</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:08:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLady0fShalott/pseuds/TheLady0fShalott</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding themselves stranded on a mercy mission to Tannoban Ferus Olin meets up with Jedi from his past. Ferus, Roan and the Jedi race to rescue senator Organa and escape the besieged system.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ferus Olin &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Ferus Olin &amp; Siri Tachi, Roan Lands/Ferus Olin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Down In Flames</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have changed Ferus and Roan’s business from witness protection to shipping.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The light freighter marked as the <em>Interloper</em> flew at sub-light towards the hundreds of ships ringing the small world of <em>Tannoban</em> beyond them. Blockade running was not Roan Lands favorite pastime, however, when a senator such as Bail Organa asks for help in relief aid it was hard to say no. It also didn’t hurt that the money for taking the risk was good, very good. And right now his business needed capital.</p><p>The world had been blockaded for several months now and the situation had gotten very bad. The biggest need at the moment was medical supplies and the <em>Bellassa</em> government pledged aid to the <em>Alderaanian</em> relief effort for worlds suffering because of the Clone Wars.</p><p>Olin&amp;Lands. The shipping business that Roan owned with his partner Ferus Olin had been hired to deliver the supplies. In the case of <em>Tannoban</em>, as it had also been in a few other worlds, that meant blockade running.</p><p>“We’re coming up on them now, their sensors haven't picked us up yet,” Ferus said from the co-pilot's seat.</p><p>“Alright, just a few more minutes and we’ll be past their security,” Roan said.</p><p>Ferus monitored the signal scrambler that Roan had worked up. The droids relied on their scanners too much instead of looking out their view screens from time to time. If their ship could stay off of the scanners then the <em>Interloper</em> could slip past.</p><p>“We’re at point 355,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Running the blockade now,” Roan said, as he flipped the switches that boosted the <em>Interloper</em> to high power. A second later the light freighter shot forward hurtling by the last of the Separatist’s ships.</p><p>“Nice flying,” Ferus said as they streaked across the skies of <em>Tannoban</em> heading towards the medical center.</p><p>“Easy as it comes,” Roan said a little self impressed as he brushed a hand back through his dark hair. When Ferus had met him he’d been wearing his hair longer, however, since the war had started, Roan had started to wear it short. It was one of those small reminders that things where shifting in the galaxy, that things where not as they had been.</p><p>“You know, getting back out isn’t going to be that easy,” Ferus reminded him.</p><p>Roan glanced at Ferus with a green eye and smiled a little broader. He could see that Ferus, even while warning about the difficulty, was still very confident in their abilities to pull it off. Those sharp, dark eyes were lit with a kind of lightness that Roan loved. That self confidence that came with knowing you can pull off something difficult.</p><p>“Coming up on the medical center, get ready to off load,” Roan said. He eased the ship down into a small courtyard. One of the walls of which was rubble now. They quickly opened the <em>Interlopers</em> ramp and started off-loading. Roan was big and very strong, however, even he was impressed with how quickly both he had Ferus unloaded the entire cargo bay.</p><p>“Under 7 minutes, that’s a record,” Roan said wiping sweat off his brow with an arm.</p><p>“Yeah,” Ferus said, he was looking out over the dark grey brown sands of the arid world. Between sections of hard wood trees and large rocky outcroppings the gray brown sand made itself visible. The land ran in rolling hills with shallow valleys and where there weren’t any trees long grasses grew out of the sand giving it a hair like appearance.</p><p>“What is it?” Roan asked. He knew when Ferus was listening to the force. His husband would become still and seem to listen to the universe around him.</p><p>“I don’t know, I’m beginning to get a bad feeling about this place,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Time to get leaving then,” Roan suggested.</p><p>“Yeah,” Ferus said, “I think we’d better.” They walked back up the ramp and were in the skies in minutes.</p><p>They’d barely reached the upper atmosphere when they saw another ship come screaming in from space. Clearly the ship had just run the blockade, only this time the Separatists knew that something had slipped through. A small fleet of Sep fighters were chasing the ship. The gunner of the fleeing ship was doing a good job of taking out the fighters, but not good enough.</p><p>“Blast it all! Ferus, you might want to get on the guns!” Roan said as he took decisive action. Cutting a new course that would take the <em>Interloper</em> across the path of the distressed ship, Roan made to help the other ship.</p><p>Ferus unstrapped and headed for their laser canon in the back. It was a standard feature for light freighters that traveled through pirate territory.</p><p>Roan flew to keep the canon on target as Ferus helped clear <strike>off</strike> the droid ships off what was now clear as a Republic ship. He made three passes before everything went sideways. The Republic ship lost its shields and smoke started issuing from it as a lucky droid shot got through. One of the droids ships launched a rocket to finish off the other craft.</p><p>Roan called into the comm, “Ferus hold on!” as he charted an intercept course. The <em>I</em><em>nterloper</em> had strong shields and he quickly put all the power the to front saving only the canon shields to protect Ferus from his stupid plan. Then, Roan deliberately flew into the rockets path. The impact was jarring and the cockpit of the <em>Interloper</em> was lit up by the fireball explosion of the rocket strike. Roan’s teeth rattled and the cockpit span into blackness.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. On the Lam</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anakin’s ship screamed towards the surface “We’re going to make it,” Anakin said.</p><p>“Blast it! We’ve picked up another six ships,” Jedi Master Siri Tachi said.</p><p>“I’m working on it,” Obi-Wan said. He was on the guns and blasting away at the droid ships following them. “There are a lot of them,” Obi-Wan called.</p><p>“Give me a minute,” Anakin said, looping their ship around trying to shake the targeting computers locked on him. “I’m trying to shake them.”</p><p>“Better do it quickly,” Siri said as she blasted away on the other gun. They all lurched forward in their seats as the shields took another hit. “Those shields aren't going to hold long at this rate,” she added.</p><p>Anakin took another sharp turn in the ship trying outmaneuver the droids in a ship that was not as fast as he needed it to be. Suddenly, a new ship joined the fray. “Who’s that?” Anakin called.</p><p>Siri checked the screen. “It’s call sign is the <em>Interloper</em>, I’ve never heard of it before. It might be one of the local ships”. The <em>Interloper</em> made three passes each time blowing droid ships away from Anakin’s ship. For a moment Anakin thought he’d make it to the surface with no further damage as he flew through the latest volley of lasers. He’d managed to avoid five shots but that didn’t matter as the sixth got through. Anakin knew the one that got through had hit something important. A red light lit up on the monitor then died. “We just lost the shields, better make every one of those shots count Obi-Wan,” Anakin called.</p><p>“Incoming rocket,” Siri called.</p><p>“Blast it!” Anakin cursed, his maneuverability had been all but destroyed by the hit they’d taken. The <em>Interloper</em> suddenly changed direction and put itself between the Republic ship and the droids fighters. The rocket struck the freight ship. There was a fireball as the rocket impacted on the shields and then the <em>Interloper</em> spun wildly out of control heading down for the planet’s surface.</p><p>Anakin wanted to help the crew of the other ship but he couldn't do anything while he was still fighting to stay in the air himself. He took the opening the <em>Interloper</em> had given them and Anakin made for the surface as quickly as possible.</p><hr/><p>Ferus opened his eyes his head throbbing, he was hanging in his restraints leaning to one side in the gunner’s turret. His whole body hurt but he didn’t have time to think about that. They’d been hit and the <em>Interloper</em> had crashed. Releasing himself from his restraints Ferus half slipped, half crawled down into the front part of the ship. The front was much worse off then the turret had been. The cockpit was crumpled and broken with coolant leaking everywhere. The cold liquid soaked into the leg of Ferus’ pants as he pushed the cockpit door open. Roan was laying against the displays, before him the view screen was cracked and gray-brown sand was sifting into the cockpit through it.</p><p>“Roan!” Ferus said as he put a hand on his neck checking for a pulse. Relief washed through him as he felt Roan’s steady pulse. Ferus released Roan’s restraints and scrambling over the display. He kicked at the view screen, it was the easiest and quickest way out. His boot hit the screen several times and sent a jarring feeling up his leg.</p><p>Ferus pulled his blaster from it’s holster and fired several times into the view screen. His next kick broke enough of the screen out to let him through. Ferus grabbed Roan under his arms and pulled him up and out as well. “You’ll be okay, Roan,” Ferus muttered. “I’ve got you.”</p><p>He laid Roan down in the sand and slipped back into the ship, he quickly found the med-kit and the survival kit. The Separatists would send someone to find them soon and they needed to get away while they had the lead. Ferus stopped only long enough to asses their injuries. Roan had a terrible wound in his side and a long gash on his leg. Ferus patched him up and fixed the wounds on his own arm. Shouldering the kits he rolled Roan over and lifted him across his shoulders. Pain shot down Ferus’ arm. After a minute it relaxed into a dull ache. Ferus closed his eyes a moment trying to ignore the pain and release it. Then he went slowly into the desert heading in a general direction for the medical center they’d dropped supplies at only a little while ago.</p><p>Roan regained consciousness and found himself in the air looking down at the gray brown sands and tall grasses of <em>Tannoban</em><em> . </em>He couldn’t feel his leg or his side, and it took him a moment to realize that it was not a good thing. He felt nothing at all, his head hurt a little and he felt a pressure of a sharp shoulder digging into the chest. “Ferus?” he asked.</p><p>“I’ve got you,” Ferus said.</p><p>“I can’t feel my side,” Roan said.</p><p>“I gave you a pain killer, you’re hurt.”</p><p>“Is the ship totaled?” Roan asked.</p><p>“Yes,” Ferus said.</p><p>“And you’re carrying me to safety?”.</p><p>“Yes,” Ferus said shifting his shoulders a little under Roan.</p><p>“You're too skinny to carry me,” Roan said. Ferus was tall, slim and strong but Roan was taller, broader and outweighed him by a bit.</p><p>“Your right about that.” Ferus grunted a little as he slowly made his way down into one of the low vally like ares of the shift sands.</p><p>“Calling me fat?” Roan asked.</p><p>“Maybe just a little,” Ferus said. This made Roan feel better. Ferus wouldn’t be joking if there was something really wrong with him. Roan wondered how long they’d been walking. He could feel Ferus’ neck against his under arm and there was sweat on it. Roan could feel, through the parts of his body he could feel, Ferus breathe in slowly, pulling the air into himself, inhaling until he could breathe in no more then slowly release the breath until it to was gone completely. Roan didn’t understand it but he knew that Ferus on some level was calling on the Force, an energy that his partner could tap into and it gave him a deep kind of strength.</p><p>Roan didn’t complain about being carried, he already knew that if he was able to walk Ferus wouldn’t be carrying him.</p><p>“Well I guess you were right about your bad feeling, it seems to have come true,” Roan said. Ferus turned his head and glanced at Roan with a dark eye.</p><p>“I’d rather be wrong more often,” he said.</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Roan said, “I really thought the shields would hold.”</p><p>“They might have if you’d put all the power into them, you kept the side cannon shield up,” Ferus said.</p><p>“I couldn’t take away all your protection. Not without asking you first and there was no time,” Roan said.</p><p>“Well I personally feel right now that you were just being selfish. My back is killing me,” Ferus grunted. Roan smiled.</p><p>“You can put me down for awhile,” Roan suggested.</p><p>“I would, but we got to make a little more distance. I don’t like how close we still are to the crash. I don’t want to run into a patrol”.</p><p>“When I can’t feel my head anymore you're’ going to have to put me down,” Roan said.</p><p>“Alright,” Ferus promised.</p><p>They walked on until the desert around them was dusky and Ferus couldn’t feel his shoulders anymore. He eased Roan down into the sand of a shallow valley and sat near him. Roan pushed himself up onto his arms and tried not to look as Ferus checked his wound. It looked bad, and though Roan could handle looking at other peoples injuries he didn’t like looking at his own.</p><p>“How’s it looking?” Roan asked, grimacing a little.</p><p>“Its fixable,” Ferus said, applying some more pain killer topically.</p><p>“Fixable, I love how specific you can be, honey,” Roan said relaxing a little. “I’m so hungry.”</p><p>Ferus looked inside the survival kit. “We only have energy bars,” he said, pulling a face. He took one out and opening the wrapper handed it to Roan.</p><p>“It will do for me,” Roan said. He took a bite and chewing he added, “Thanks.” He quietly watched his husband for a minute. Ferus was eating but he was also watching Roan’s wounds. Roan saw blood staining the dark gray of Ferus’ shirt on the shoulder,</p><p>“Is that mine or yours?” he asked, gesturing at Ferus’ shoulder.</p><p>“A little of both,” Ferus said.</p><p>Roan felt sweat dampening the back of his neck and he felt uncomfortable. He also didn’t like that it was his fault that they were stranded in the desert. His mind kept jumping around from topic to topic. “When we get a new ship what do you want to call it?” Roan asked. He was trying to ease the tension he felt knowing he probably had earned them a war time stay in a prison camp.</p><p>“I don’t know, it depends on the ship, we could call it the <em>Interstellar,</em>” Ferus suggested.</p><p>“I like it,” Roan said.</p><p>“Good, we have a name, as soon as we get back to <em>Bellassa</em> we can get a new ship and be back in business,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Yeah,” Roan agreed.</p><p>Ferus was suddenly alert, he dropped his energy bar and said in a quiet but urgent whisper, “Get down.” He pushed Roan into the sand at the bottom of the shallow dip they were sitting in. Ferus rolled himself down low and half lay flat on top of Roan’s back. Both were still a moment as Ferus scanned the land around them.</p><p>Nothing moved but he had sensed something. “I don’t see anything,” Ferus breathed.</p><p>The sweat that had broken out on Roan’s back after they’d stopped was still soaking his shirt and a heavy anxiety weighing on him. “I have to say, Ferus I like this position,” Roan teased quietly.</p><p>“I know hun.” Ferus rubbing a hand gently over Roan side in comfort “I know”, he said again softly. Still focused on the desert around them.</p><p>Roan didn’t like the response. He wanted Ferus to give him an exasperated look or smack him lightly or say ‘really Roan?’ to his suggestive joke. But Ferus hadn’t, he was playing very nice. It told Roan that things were not okay, that he was not okay. He was hurt worse than he thought and Ferus was concerned about him. This scared Roan.</p><p>“I saw it again, I think we have a tail,” Ferus said. He got off of Roan no longer shielding his injured partner with his body. Crouching low he moved off into the surrounding land. Moving through the low scrub and big rocks. Ferus hadn’t needed to say anything to Roan they both knew he’d be back.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Fighting The Past</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ferus crouched low as he moved through the desert evening that was quickly turning to a black night. Cold air flowed around him. Stopping behind a low scrub bush in a shallow depression, Ferus could hear and feel something coming his way.</p><p>In all likelihood it was a Separatist patrol looking for the crew of the <em>Interloper</em>. Breathing out and centering himself Ferus waited until the being – no three beings – were close before he struck. He couldn't use a blaster, it would only alert other patrols. Calling on all the combat he'd learned at the Jedi temple in his youth, and all that he'd learned since then on <em>Bellassa</em>, Ferus left the safety of his scrub hiding place.</p><p>Grabbing the wrist of the smallest of the three Ferus wrenched it around causing their weapon to fly off into the dark. Reversing the momentum he had created Ferus brought his knee up into the being's stomach. The other two turned to help their companion. Twisting away Ferus disengaged the smallest figure and flipping up and over higher then he'd gone in a long time Ferus landed between the other two.</p><p>Delivering a powerful kick to the tallest shadow's arm he dislodged their baton. Catching the weapon, Ferus turned in a fluid motion and brought the baton down across the other beings face.</p><p>The taller figure dropped down to one knee and swept a leg towards Ferus. Ferus almost didn't avoid it. He jumped backward landing hard and rolled back into the shallow depression. Ferus pulled his blaster.</p><p>He didn't have a choice now there were too many of them. His ankle twinged where the taller assailant had caught him with his foot.</p><p>A lightsaber snapped on, Ferus' eyes widened in amazement. Standing in the blue glow of the lightsaber where Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi and Anakin Skywalker.</p><p>"Hold on, we're Jedi," Obi-Wan Kenobi said. He was holding his lightsaber up illuminating the area.</p><p>Obi-Wan had realized that it was not droid attacking them which meant better then even odds it was a local thinking they were there to take the planet.</p><p>Siri was holding her wrist, one hand over her stomach and froze when she looked down into the depression and saw the young man sitting in it, blaster drawn, staring back up at them.</p><p>"Ferus?" Siri said with disbelief.</p><p>Ferus snapped back into action the moment he realized that it was Siri. He didn't have time to stop and think about it. "Siri." he jumped to his feet.</p><p>"Oh my stars, Ferus, is that your blood?" Siri rushed to him.</p><p>"Not all of it, quick, Roan's been hurt and I can't carry him." Ferus was at the end of his strength and he needed help.</p><p>"Show us." Obi-Wan said. Siri quickly called her lightsaber back to her hand from where Ferus had disarmed her in his first attack. They followed Ferus back through the desert to where he'd left Roan.</p><p>Roan had his blaster out and was holding it in a sweaty hand. "Did you get them?" Roan asked as Ferus reappeared through the darkness.</p><p>"I found Jedi," Ferus said shoving things back into the kits. Turning to Obi-Wan he said "I can't carry him alone, if you could help me?".</p><p>"I got him," Anakin said stepping forward he quickly bent and picked Roan up across his shoulders.</p><p>"He needs medical care, and soon," Ferus said to Siri. "There's a medical facility not too far from here".</p><p>"We know it, we were on our way there to extract senator Organa," Obi-Wan said.</p><p>"It's' about a quarter klick off," Ferus said.</p><p>"This way," Siri said, leading them into the darkness of the desert.</p>
<hr/><p>Anakin could hardly believe that after years, so many years, he'd run into Ferus Olin in the middle of the Clone Wars. And once again Ferus Olin had bested him. Anakin hadn't lost his lightsaber in years and suddenly Ferus had shown up and disarmed him. What was worse was the fact that Ferus had used <em>his</em> lightsaber as a club on Obi-Wan. The Jedi Master now had a cut over his temple and the hilt of Anakin's lightsaber now had Obi-Wan's blood on it. It was all just very surreal. It was unexpected, and in a wired kind of way, nice.</p><p>***</p><p>They had so far avoided three patrols and Anakin was not liking how close the last few had been to discovering them. They where sticking to the trees where they could. Roan Lands was very quiet and Anakin could feel that the other man was soaked in sweat. Roan was not doing well with his injury.</p><p>"I think we need to stop for the night. It's getting too dark to safely travel," Siri said.</p><p>"I agree. With these patrols everywhere we are going to be to exposed once we leave the trees," Obi-Wan said. The current treed and scrubby area they were walking through could give them cover for the night.</p><p>Ferus looked at Roan, it was only a few hours till it would be light enough for them to go safely. However, he hated stopping when Roan needed medical care and it was so close. Letting the tight feeling in his chest go as much as he could Ferus nodded in agreement. They went on until they found a good place to stop under the cover of trees by a small water source.</p><p>"Thank you for carrying Roan, Anakin," Ferus said.</p><p>Anakin eased Roan to the ground and he and Obi-Wan bent over him to check his injuries.</p><p>"How's it looking?" Roan asked. His voice was a little faint and his eyes where only half open.</p><p>"I've seen worse," Anakin said.</p><p>"You'll be fine Roan," Obi-Wan said. They tended to Roan with their own medical kit and Obi-Wan gave him something to help him sleep.</p><p>"Let's take a look at that shoulder of yours," Siri said to Ferus. She hadn't stopped watching her former apprentice since she'd laid eyes on him.</p><p>"It's not too bad, it's my arm more," Ferus said as he pulled the gray shirt off over his head and placed it on the ground next to him. Siri knelt behind him and reapplied the dressings.</p><p>"What are you doing on <em>Tannoban</em>?" Siri asked.</p><p>"We were hired to run the blockade and bring medical supplies to the planet," Ferus said.</p><p>"That's risky," Siri said.</p><p>"Someone has to do it."</p><p>"I never thought I'd see you again," Siri said changing the subject to what was on her mind. Her voice was soft as she looked at the now young man she'd known for almost his entire life.</p><p>"I'm glad to see you again," Ferus said. He looked over his shoulder at her.</p><p>His eyes were soft and they reminded Siri of how Ferus' eyes had looked when she'd first met him as a little boy. Back then she'd been so sure that she could train him to becoming a Jedi. Siri put a hand on Ferus' head and petted his hair flat. Her fingers pausing on the spot behind his ear where his padawan braid had once been. Her fingers still remembered braiding it for him when he'd been too small to figure it out.</p><p>"You still have it, you know. You gave us all quite a beating," Siri said trying to pull herself away from the memories of Ferus as a little boy, as a Jedi.</p><p>"Sorry about that, I thought you were Separatists." Ferus sounded sorry.</p><p>"Well at least I know you can take care of yourself out there in the galaxy. I wondered what you would do out there by yourself, blockade running is not what I thought, though," Siri said.</p><p>"It's not normally what I do. We, Roan and I, have a shipping company and we move light freight. The war has gotten in the way of that a little. <em>Bellassa</em>, that's where I live now. Its government pledged aid to the <em>Alderaanian</em> relief effort and we were hired to bring it to <em>Tannoban</em>," Ferus said.</p><p>"And you flew your ship into that rocket to protect us," Obi-Wan said from where he sat by Roan. "That was a very dangerous move, you could have been killed".</p><p>"That was Roan's idea. He thought our shields would hold a little better," Ferus said.</p><p>"Well they might have if you'd diverted all power to the forward shields instead of splitting it between the forwards and the canon," Anakin said.</p><p>"I know," Ferus said. His dark eyes studied Anakin a moment. He had changed a lot. Anakin was tall, taller then Ferus now. He was even taller then Roan and had absolutely no trouble carrying the other man. It had been a long time since he'd last seen Anakin. He wondered how he'd changed, the other was a Jedi Knight now.</p><p>"There you are, all fixed," Siri said "looks like you might get a scar. Maybe you can use it to impress all the girls with," she teased.</p><p>Ferus looked at his arm a moment. Only his eyes shifted up from the dressing on his arm to the faint but visible blaster wound scar on his shoulder. He'd been hit by a bolt when Darra had died. He used to think of it as a physical reminder of his failure. Now it just reminded him that he'd lost a friend once a long time ago.</p><p>Siri's eyes moved to the scar that her fingers where almost touching, she slid her hand over it trying to block it from sight. It only brought up bad memories for them all.</p><p>Ferus lifted his eyes to hers, and smiling a bit said, "I don't think I'll be trying to impress girls with a scar. But thanks for medical care."</p><p>Siri smiled back. Ferus had changed. He was more grown up now. In her mind, when she'd wondered what had become of him, she had struggled to see him as anything other then the little boy she had taken as a padwan.</p><p>Siri still remembered saying to the Jedi Council, <em>"</em><em>I want to train and take Ferus Olin as my padawan learner.</em><em>"</em></p><p>"You've really grown up," she finally said.</p><p>Ferus pulled his shirt back on.</p><p>"It's been awhile, how is he?" he asked looked over to Obi-Wan and Anakin who both sat near Roan's sleeping form.</p><p>"He will need medical care. I'm not a doctor, but I think he will be fine if we get to the medical station tomorrow," Obi-Wan said.</p><p>Ferus nodded and settling by Roan he leaned back against a tree and dozed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. For Old Time’s Sake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting across the small camp from Ferus the heat lamp between them Anakin was a little off kilter. The way Ferus had looked at him, studied him, for a moment Anakin had felt like a padawan again. It bothered Anakin. It was like Ferus could see something in him no one else could. It had irritated Anakin when he was a child. Now, he wondered what it was that Ferus saw, or was looking for.</p><p>Taking in a breath Anakin let him mind wonder backward. Had it only been a few years since they’d parted ways at the Temple? They’d been through a lot as teens and by the end he’d found that maybe the other padawan wasn’t as perfect as Anakin had always accused him of being.</p><p>They’d even started becoming friends before everything that happened with Darra. And Ferus leaving Jedi Order.</p><p>The dark eyed man had taken Anakin’s lightsaber away without any trouble at all. It just reminded Anakin that Ferus had always been faster, smoother and better at seemingly everything when they were kids. Anakin had always felt like he was playing catch up with the other padawan.</p><p>Anakin smiled a little at the irony, now he was a Knight and Ferus, who had not completed the training, was still making him feel like he was falling behind. There was something humorous in that feeling once he dug past the irritation. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being shown up again, for old time’s sake.</p><p>Anakin knew that Ferus wasn’t trying show him up. Ferus hadn’t even been trying to do that when they’d been kids. That had all just been a false perception, that Anakin had only realized after he grew up a little.</p><p>Anakin’s eyes shifted over to Obi-Wan who was dozing nearby. Obi-Wan had always held Anakin’s powers back. Forced him to go slower, to not develop his full power as fast as he could have. He’d never been sure why. Ferus, whose powers had grown at an alarming rate just like Anakin’s, had been given no such restrictions. Siri had allowed Ferus to meet his full potential from the beginning. Siri had never held him back. It had always been Ferus who had been the one choosing to limit himself.</p><p>Anakin felt a sting of resentment in his chest toward Obi-Wan. Maybe it was being in a desert which reminded him of <em>Tatooine,</em> but if Obi-Wan had trusted him, if Anakin had been allowed to be as powerful as he knew he could have been, maybe he could have saved his mother.</p><p>Anakin almost jerked as he pushed the memories away. He tried to focus on mission again. He reminded himself that though Ferus might have been allowed to meet his full potential that maybe, it wasn’t a good thing. Anakin glanced over at Siri. Even if Siri had let Ferus meet his full potential in the force, she had also provided very little guidance.</p><p>Anakin could see now, looking back, that Siri was not really ready to have her own padawan. Anakin remembered resenting Obi-Wan’s constant nagging but Anakin had always had guidance for anything Obi-Wan had asked of him. Siri just gave orders and Ferus had had to figure it out on his own.</p><p>Anakin pushed away old resentments about Obi-Wan. He didn’t need to feel that way. Instead, Anakin focused on the fact that Obi-Wan had been a father to him when he needed one. He had always been a master and now friend and had never left him hanging. He chose to focus on those feelings as he tried to get some sleep.</p><p>***</p><p>Roan woke with dawn. He was cold and damp. Looking up, he saw Ferus’ eyes looking down at him.</p><p>“Morning,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Hi,” Roan croaked. He was surprised at his voice, it didn’t sound like it normally did.</p><p>“Ready for another long day?” Ferus asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” Roan croaked again.</p><p>“If we hustle we should be able to get to the medical center in a few hours,” Siri said standing and dusting the sand off her clothes.</p><p>“Anakin, if you would,” Obi-Wan said gesturing to Roan.</p><p>“I can carry him,” Ferus said “I just couldn’t take him any farther last night.”</p><p>“Give your shoulder a rest. I got him,” Anakin said and for a moment his eyes met Ferus’ dark thoughtful ones and it was like when they’d been padawans and friends. Anakin saw the trust in the other man’s eyes and Ferus nodded.</p><p>“Thank you,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Wimping out on me then?” Roan asked. “I thought you said I wasn’t fat?” Ferus tried to smile but he failed miserably.</p><p>“Anakin’s got you and he won’t let you down,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Good,” Roan said “I'd’ hate to be dropped.”</p><p>Roan half dozen the rest of the journey. Occasionally looking up to see where Ferus was.</p><p>“How much further?” Obi-Wan asked after several hours of walking.</p><p>“We should be coming up on it,” Siri said.</p><p>“It’s just over the next rise.” Ferus pointed out. He remembered the landscape from being there before. The party moved up the rise, from the top the small medical station could be seen laying below.</p><p>The building was not very big and stood alone, mostly serving rural populations that lived within reasonable travel distances. At the moment it was quite, only a few locals of <em>Tannoban</em> where moving about.</p><p>“It appears to still be within <em>Tannoban</em> control,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>***</p><p>Inside the medical facility they were helped by a harried but eager staff. Roan was quickly taken away and the three Jedi were taken to the office where Bail Organa was working on documenting everything for a senate report.</p><p>“Damn! The blasted being how came up with this form,” he was talking to himself as he worked.</p><p>“Senator?” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“Oh good, you’ve arrived, I assume that they’ve sent you in here to get me out?” Bail asked but it sounded more like a statement then a question.</p><p>“Yes,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“We’re hoping our battle fleet arrives soon and we can break the blockade. However, if it’s not possible then we’re going to have to try and run it,” Siri said.</p><p>“Our ship isn’t far off but it’s undergoing some repairs. We’ve been sent to make sure neither you or that report fall into the Seps hands,” Anakin said.</p><p>“Damn the Seps too,” Bail added as he finished something on the form that was being viewed on his datapad. Bail started throwing all his things back into a small carry sack. “This planet is a neutral system they have no right to blockade it. I’ve documented enough Trade Federation violations on this planet alone that they’ll be lucky if their not ejected from the Senate!” Bail raged as he packed.</p><p>“We must go quickly,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“How long till we leave?” Siri asked.</p><p>“Immediately,” Obi-Wan said. “Getting the senator and this report back to the senate is of the upmost importance.”</p><p>“What about Ferus, we can’t leave him here, if he’s captured-” Siri started.</p><p>“Ferus is not a Jedi,” Obi-Wan reminded her. Not because he didn’t care, he did. Obi-Wan didn’t want to leave Ferus and Roan on the planet. But, it seemed to Obi-Wan that Siri was starting to forget that the young man was no longer her Padawan. He’d seen her watching him and the look in her face had given him pause.</p><p>“So, we should just leave him?” Siri said angrily.</p><p>“No,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“They ran the blockade and destroyed their ship protecting ours. We are their only way off planet!” her voice rose with outrage.</p><p>“I didn’t say we would leave them, but we have to leave as soon as possible. We need to think big picture, this report to the senator will bring much needed aid to the planet and will hopefully end the blockade,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“Ferus is still one of us. We don’t leave Jedi behind.” Siri dug in.</p><p>“Ferus is not a Jedi,” Obi-Wan said. “And I didn’t say we were leaving him.” Turning to Anakin, Obi-Wan asked brusquely, “How long till Artoo gets the ship functional again?”</p><p>“Roughly three hours, I have Artoo sending me updates on the progress.” Anakin said checking his wrist comm.</p><p>“Then we will leave when the ship is fixed. If Ferus and Roan are able and willing to come with us they are more then welcome. However, our first priority has to be to the entire population of this plant,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “This is something Ferus would understand. Something I though you taught him.”</p><p>“I’m going to go see how long Roan’s wound will take to heal,” Anakin said and left the two masters to bicker.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Undertow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Searching for Ferus, Anakin could understand where Siri was coming from. Ferus had been a Jedi once and they didn't leave their own behind. But Obi-Wan wasn't wrong either. As Jedi they had a duty to a larger purpose then themselves. The entire population of the planet was depending on that report making it to the senate. They couldn't risk millions of lives in order to save one.</p><p>Anakin found Ferus leaning against the wall outside of a med room. His arm had been properly looked at and it appeared as though he'd washed most of the blood out of his shirt. "How's your friend?" Anakin asked leaning agents the wall as well.</p><p>"I don't know, they're still working," Ferus said. The hall was silent for several minutes.</p><p>"It's been so long, it's kind of weird seeing you again," Anakin said. He glanced an eye over Ferus' clothes, they made him look like anybody on any dock. Not a former Jedi. "The image I have of you is still in Jedi robes and with a padawan's braid."</p><p>"That feels like forever ago now," Ferus said. In reality it had only been a few years.</p><p>"You've changed a lot," Anakin said.</p><p>"So have you," Ferus glanced over at Anakin with those sharp, dark eyes that cut into something deeper inside Anakin. "I guess we both grew up," he added.</p><p>"Yeah," Anakin said. "You're still showing me up though," Anakin said half joking and trying to tease a little. There was a heaviness in the air he wanted to lighten. "It's been years since I've lost my lightsaber."</p><p>"I was never trying to show you up," Ferus said. "Not then and not now."</p><p>"I was joking Ferus," Anakin said. Though there had been a grain of truth in the joke. "How have you been since you left the Jedi?".</p><p>Anakin had wondered from time to time what life for Ferus would be like outside the order. Anakin had had a life before the Jedi and knew what that was like. But sometimes he wondered about Ferus, someone who was raised in the temple since infancy. The Jedi Order was the only thing they'd ever known. How did you cope with loosing everything you ever knew?</p><p>Ferus looked at his boots contemplating them and he was quiet a long time. Eventually he said; "Getting out on my own was hard, but it was also good for me."</p><p>"You seemed to have landed on your feet," Anakin said.</p><p>"I've done alright. Roan's helped a lot," Ferus glanced at the door where Roan was being treated.</p><p>"You're worried about him?" Anakin said he could feel it through the Force.</p><p>"Yeah, I am It's a very bad injury." And then out of the blue Ferus added "I don't think he'd do well if we were captured."</p><p>"We're not leaving you two behind," Anakin assured him.</p><p>"That doesn't mean we won't have to stay. Or we all might not be captured. There are a lot of things that could go wrong."</p><p>"Don't over think it. We're getting out of here and so are you," Anakin said firmly.</p><p>"Sorry, its just hard not to worry about the future. When you love somebody it's hard to see them hurting and in danger," Ferus said. His words took Anakin so off guard they took a moment to register.</p><p>"Love?" Anakin asked stupidly.</p><p>Ferus looked at Anakin and laughed a little at the look of surprise on his face.</p><p>"Yes, love. Roan is my husband," Ferus said.</p><p>Anakin suddenly felt as if the image he had of Ferus as a padawan, the one that had been with him since Ferus had left the Jedi, was melting. He suddenly turned into someone Anakin didn't know. Ferus wasn't a Jedi anymore. He was in love. He was <em>married</em>. Anakin's own mind turned to Padmé immediately. His wife, his <em>secret</em> wife, someone he loved.</p><p>"Oh," was all Anakin could manage to say then he added "I didn't know… I guess you won't be trying to impress the girls with your new scar?"</p><p>Ferus smiled a little. "No, Roan and I have been together for about two years."</p><p>"Oh," was all Anakin could say for a second time as thoughts of Padmé turned through his head. He knew he was failing her, not being the husband he should be, not being there when she needed him. But to live openly the way he wanted to would mean dismissal from the Jedi order. Right now, Anakin couldn't do that. The Clone Wars where ripping the galaxy apart, it was up to him to save everybody, to be a good Jedi and bring balance to the force. The same Force that was slipping ever deeper into darkness and it was impossible for him to do more, but more was always needed of him.</p><p>A secret guilt stabbed at Anakin. He knew he was not the Jedi he should be either. How many times had he failed to live up to his potential. <em>Tatooine</em>, his mother, his failures on Geonosis, too many to count. Anakin knew he could be better, Obi-Wan expected him to be.</p><p>Anakin was failing to be a Jedi and a husband and he wasn't free to choose either one. Once again Anakin was trapped, a slave. The Jedi needed him, the galaxy needed him. But he needed Padmé and he couldn't choose either without failing the other.</p><p>A tightness seemed to seize Anakin's chest and constrict around him. "Ferus, would you come back now if the Jedi asked you too, needed you too?" Ferus had made the choice to leave the Jedi, was it possible to simply leave while also knowing how much good you could do if you stayed.</p><p>"No," Ferus said simply. "I left the Jedi because of my attachments, I have more now and I'm not willing to give them up."</p><p>"I thought you left because of what happened with Darra?" Anakin asked.</p><p>"I left because I was unable to let go of the attachment to my guilt over her death. It is something that I still struggle with." Ferus admitted.</p><p>"But what if we really needed you?" Anakin insisted. Anakin wasn't really asking if Ferus could come back. Instead he wanted to know if it was possible for Ferus to remain away, leave when the Jedi needed him. If <em>he</em> could leave when the Jedi needed him.</p><p>"I can't," Ferus said. "Why are you asking Anakin?"</p><p>"No reason," Anakin said then deflected "I didn't know you were still so affected by Darra's death."</p><p>"It's not an easy thing," Ferus said.</p><p>"No, it isn't," Anakin said. They stood in silence in the hall for some time.</p><p>When Ferus was eventually called into the room Roan was laying on the bed. He held out one hand for his husband and Ferus went to him swiftly. Ferus took Roan's hand knelt down saying "Hey, how are you feeling?"</p><p>"Much better," Roan said.</p><p>"Good," Ferus said "good, I was a little worried there."</p><p>"I know, you didn't laugh or chide me for any of my jokes. You had me a little scared too," Roan admitted.</p><p>"I love you," Ferus said.</p><p>"I'm sure glad, I don't think you would've carried me all that way if you didn't." Roan said with a soft smile.</p><p>Ferus returned the small smile "It almost came to that by the end." leaning in closer he assured "Your okay now."</p><p>"Good," Roan said squeezing Ferus' hand.</p><p>***</p><p>Anakin had not always gotten along with Ferus when they were padawans but he'd been able to put aside his jealousy of not being the best and eventually become friends. Now, Anakin felt a new jealousy rise in him like a snake. Hadn't Padmé been laying on a stretcher suffering before and he'd had to just stand by. Anakin was not allowed to hold her hand or tell her he loved her. Or reassure her that she was going to be okay even though he knew she was scared. Ferus could openly show that he loved Roan. Could comfort Roan. Ferus was living openly.</p><p>Suddenly Anakin wanted that, wanted it so badly it was palpable. Anger at the war surged through him. He wanted to leave the Jedi and be with Padmé. Live with her, love her, raise children with her. But he could never leave the Jedi while the war was raging across the galaxy. He had too much responsibility to others, to do his duty as a Jedi. Anakin frowned with bitterness at his own situation as he coveted the ability to live openly.</p><p>"Oh, when did this happen?" Obi-Wan asked appearing next to Anakin and looking into the room.</p><p>"Roan is Ferus' husband," Anakin said, "it's been a few years I guess."</p><p>"Oh… well good for him, they look happy together," Obi-Wan said. His sudden and immediate support and approval of Ferus' relationship stung deeply. Obi-Wan would never be happy for he and Padmé. Obi-Wan would instead remind Anakin of his destiny as the chosen one. Demand to know how it had gotten so far and then disapprove.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Escape From Tannoban</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The repulsor stretcher for Roan was guided along over the gray-brown sandy ground by Bail and Ferus. The Jedi keeping a close guard as they traveled by foot back to the valley their ship was hidden in. “With any luck the Seps wont have found the ship,” Anakin said.</p><p>“And if they have?” Bail asked.</p><p>“Then we’ll get to know what a Sep prison is like,” Siri said.</p><p>“Wonderful.” Bail’s dry replay masked his undercurrent of concern. “Lets avoid that option if we can.”</p><p>“I have every confidence that the <em>Resolute</em> will arrive and break the blockade.” Anakin assured.</p><p>“Sure,” Siri agreed, turning away from her darker tone. “And soon enough we’ll have you back in the senate. And the rest of us back at the Temple.”</p><p>“We will have to make a slight detour in dropping Ferus and Roan off on <em>Bellassa</em>,” Obi-Wan said pointedly. Siri caught his eye but ignored the look he gave her. Instead she shot one of her own disapproving looks his way.</p><p>“So what kind of ship are you guys going to get?” Anakin asked, perceiving yesterday’s tensions coming back between the two masters.</p><p>“Whatever is cheap,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Hang on a minute, I know you don’t care about all the little add-ons but I was thinking of something with some style.” Roan called from his stretcher.</p><p>“Well in that case I have a few suggestions,” Anakin said eagerly.</p><p>“I guess you still know a lot about ships?” Ferus asked with a hint of nostalgia.</p><p>“Something like that,” Anakin said.</p><p>“He’s being modest, Anakin knows <em>everything</em> about ships,” Obi-Wan put in. “I would personally suggests you get something in the light-freight class like before. Only paint it red.”</p><p>“I agree on the red, but if you get a Weequay yocht and convert the lower decks to cargo you can keep the upper levels for living. That way you get a functional work ship and a comfortable interior. Also the pirates that attack you wont be after cargo. They’ll just think your wealthy business men,” Anakin said.</p><p>The ship conversation lasted them most of the long walk through the scrubby grass lands dotted with large outcroppings. This time they skirted the trees in order to move faster with Roan’s stretcher while still remaining less visible.</p><p>“This reminds me of that mission on <em>Cressill</em>.” Siri looked back to Ferus. “We were following that shady senator and had to keep to the edge of the oases for cover. Do you remember?”</p><p>“Yeah, I remember,” Ferus said.</p><p>“We’re coming up on the ship,” Anakin pointed to a low rocky ridge ahead of them. “The ship is in the valley beyond it and Artoo says the repairs are complete.”</p><p>The small group made quickly for the rise in the land, their freedom from the besieged planet not far beyond it.</p><p>“Wait!” Anakin and Ferus both warned suddenly.</p><p>“What is it?” Bail asked clutching his bag containing the report tightly.</p><p>“I feel it too,” Obi-Wan said “there's something dangerous beyond there.” Moving slowly and crouching low the small party of Jedi plus Ferus moved up to the top of the rise. Bail staying at the base with Roan.</p><p>On the other side of it a group of battle droids and a commander patrolled. “They’re looking for us” Obi-Wan said. “And we’re cut off.” he added scanning for the entrance to the valley where the ship lay hidden.</p><p>“There is no time to wait for the fleet. If they're not here already then they’re not coming for another rotation and we don’t have time,” Anakin said.</p><p>Scanning the situation below Ferus took in the lay of the land. A long shallow dip running horizontally below them. Peppered with scrub, large rocks and long grass between visible patches of dark sand. “Siri,” Ferus said “you and I will lead the patrol away. Anakin and Obi-Wan can circle around and take the senator and Roan to the ship.”</p><p>“Sounds like a plan,” Siri said. Suddenly it was just like before, Ferus and her were in perfect sync and Ferus was coming up with a plan.</p><p>Going back down the rise the plan was quickly imparted to Bail and Roan.</p><p>“Be careful,” Roan said from his stretcher. Ferus stopped a moment and gave Roan a silent look that Anakin knew all too well. The one last long look to your lover just in case you didn’t see them again.</p><p>Ferus pulled his blaster from its holster. “We’ll go to the west, give us a few minutes and then cut around by the east.”</p><p>“Right,” Obi-Wan agreed.</p><p>Siri and Ferus moved low around the back of the ridge until they where behind the patrol. “Ferus.” Siri reached under her road and unclipped a lightsaber from her belt. It took Ferus a moment to realize that it was <em>his</em>. “I’ve carried it with me since you left, you should use it.”</p><p>Ferus reached out and took the familiar hilt. Every part of it was formed from within him. The design was a part of him. A sweet rush of his previous life came running back to him like a river. “Ready?” he asked, just like old times.</p><p>“Ready” Siri said. Together they ignited their lightsabers and charged – leaping – into the back of the squad. Siri’s blue blade cut through droids matched in perfect synchronicity by Ferus’ red. As soon as they had the squad’s attention they jumped back and led the patrol away.</p><p>***</p><p>Minutes later Obi-Wan and Anakin had everyone on the ship and where watching through the viewscreen for Siri and Ferus. They saw the two unmistakable figures moving across the landscape. Blue and red blades marking them out against the dark sands of the world. “Looks like Ferus has his lightsaber again.” Obi-Wan’s voice held a note of something Anakin thought was disapproval.</p><p>“What’s wrong with that?” Anakin asked. If he left the Jedi he would take his saber with him. He’d never understood why Ferus had left his behind.</p><p>“Nothing on Ferus’ part. But I fear that Siri is living in the past a little too much at the moment,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“Here they come,” Anakin lifted the ship up leaving the ramp down.</p><p>Obi-Wan stood by the ramp as they came vaulting through the air one after the other. Siri landed with a loud thud and quickly deactivated her lightsaber. Ferus came flipping with grace and poise as if he was in the temple training room and landed with a soft thump. The gold in his hair was illuminated for a moment by the red glow of his lightsaber before it too was deactivated.</p><p>Seeing the blade again reminded Obi-Wan that the color had bothered him when he had first seen it. Then because he had not lain eyes on the blade until after <em>Naboo</em> and it had reminded him so forcefully of the Sith he’d fought there. Natural red crystals were not common but they were also not unheard of. At the moment it was not the color of the lightsaber that struck Obi-Wan as much as the control and mastery over the Force and his powers Ferus had, even after all those years of being away from the Jedi. It reminded Obi-Wan that not everybody meant to be a Jedi became one.</p><p>“We’re coming up on the blockade,” Anakin said. Everyone strapped in and Anakin made the run.</p><p>Laser fire came in quick and fast and fighters poured out of the Separatist’s ships. The shields, which were only so-so after the repair, were holding. Anakin was avoiding as much fire as possible to give them a break while he tried to get through the lines.</p><p>“We’re not going to make it through the line if we can’t get past these fighters,” Siri said.</p><p>“Working on it.” Anakin looped and swerved through the enemy fighters, pushing all the power he could afford to the thrusters. Anakin blasted towards the edge of the blockade. A small fleet of droid fighters screaming after them.</p><p>“More ships coming out of hyperspace,” Obi-Wan said as he checked the readouts. A moment later several Republic cruisers dropped out of hyperspace. “Make for that cruiser!” Obi-Wan said. “And thank the Force.”</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Chosen Path</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Siri walked through the halls of the cruiser with Obi-Wan, “It’s great seeing Ferus again. He hasn’t changed at all.”</p><p>“I think he’s changed a great deal, Siri.” Obi-Wan had a note of disapproval in his voice. He didn’t want to argue with Siri about this but it seemed like he might have to.</p><p>“We’re still in perfect synchronicity with each other. I wish I had him by my side in this war,” Siri said.</p><p>“Siri, Ferus is not a Jedi anymore,” Obi-Wan said. “And how can you wish to take someone from their warm and loving home to subject them to a path they have not chosen?” Obi-Wan scowled a little. He knew he was being somewhat harsh but Siri had longed for her padawan to come back ever since he’d left.</p><p>“I know that, Obi-Wan,” Siri reproached him. “But he could be a great Jedi, and right now we need great Jedi.”</p><p>“He isn’t coming back,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“Ferus was meant to be a Jedi,” Siri shot back.</p><p>“Maybe, however, that is not the path he chose,” Obi-Wan said firmly. “And it was his choice, let him live it.” He didn’t like having to argue with Siri about this, but he felt that as her friend he needed to make her understand that Ferus was not coming back.</p><p>They came to the medical hall and Siri saw Ferus leaning against the wall outside Roan’s room at the far end. He was wearing a clean flight suit and at the moment seemed to be meditating with his eyes closed. Siri smiled when she saw his old lightsaber now clipped to his belt. Her eyes caught the few strands of silver now streaking through his gold forelock. This unsettled her a little. It spoke of hardships she’d not been there to share with him, of changes in him that had taken place in the intervening years.</p><p>“I can’t just let him go when I know he’s supposed to be a Jedi. I made a mistake by not making him stay before. I’m not going to make that mistake again,” Siri said.</p><p>“Siri, Ferus has commitments he’s not going to give up and you shouldn’t ask him to,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Siri snapped.</p><p>“Ferus and Roan are a couple, they’re married,” Obi-Wan said. “He’s built a new life for himself and it’s not fair of you to ask him to leave it. Siri, you still mean a lot to him, I am sure of that. You were his master which means he values your opinion. Don’t abuse it by being selfish and asking him to give up everything to come back to something he doesn’t want.” Obi-Wan’s words were plain and blunt.</p><p>The medical door opened at the far end of the hall and Roan came walking out a little stiffly. He was dressed in a white medical gown but his wounds seemed to have been healed enough to allow him to move easily on his own.</p><p>Siri and Obi-Wan watched as Ferus open his arms for Roan to lean into them. “Look at them Siri, he’s not coming back,” Obi-Wan said gesturing down the hall. Siri’s blue eyes where full of a hardness that Obi-Wan knew. She wasn’t going to let the subject drop.</p><p>“I still need to talk with him,” she said. “I’m not letting it lie like I did last time.” Striding down the hall Siri approached the tow men.</p><p>“When do we get to go back to <em>Bellassa</em>?” Roan asked.</p><p>“Soon, they’ll take us back to <em>Coruscant</em> and from there we’ll get a ride back to <em>Bellassa</em>,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Ferus?” Siri asked coming over to the two men in the hall.</p><p>“Yes?” Ferus glanced at her, his sharp eyes still held a soft look in them that gave Siri a moment of pause.</p><p>“We’ll be at <em>Coruscant</em> a few rotations,” Siri said.</p><p>“Thanks,” Ferus said. He had already known this information. But that was not why Siri was there. she wanted to talk to him about something else.</p><p>“Ferus can we talk alone?” Siri asked.</p><p>Ferus nodded and giving Roan a quick loving glance and a soft touch of his hand he followed Siri further up the hall. They stopped once alone and Ferus was quiet, waiting for her to talk first.</p><p>“I’ve enjoyed see you again. I’m glad you seem to be doing well” she said.</p><p>“Thank you. It’s been good to see you again too,” Ferus said. He’d spend most of his life with this woman, since he was a child and she’d asked to train him.</p><p>“Thanks… It’s been a hard war… I miss having you by my side when I’m out there,” Siri said, her voice faltering as she tried to figure out how to say what she wanted to.</p><p>“I know, the war’s been hard on the Jedi. There are times I miss being at your side too,” Ferus said.</p><p>“Then come back.” her words came out in a rush. “You were born to be a Jedi Ferus. I should never have let you leave. Even after all these years your heart is still that of a Jedi. You always understood our ways, even better than I ever did. Come back.” Her eyes were urgent and held a new weariness and pain in them that Ferus didn’t like to see.</p><p>“I can’t Siri,” Ferus said softly. “I’ve found a new life, I’ve made a new life. I chose a new path. I’m not coming back. I’m at peace with my decision, it’s the right one for me.”</p><p>Siri held his gaze and saw in his eyes that familiar look she remembered from when he was her padawan. He was telling her the truth, a profound truth: the situation could not be changed. She looked down, not wanting to accept this. For the first time she noticed that Ferus was wearing a metal ring around each of his middle fingers on both hands. She vaguely remembered that this was what they did on <em>Bellassa </em>to indicate marriage.</p><p>It hurt, it really hurt to hear Ferus say he was not coming back but she felt the keenness of the truth in it. “Are you happy?” Siri asked still not looking up.</p><p>“Yes,” Ferus said. Unclipping the lightsaber from his belt he offered it back to her. “Thanks for the loan and I hope we’ll meet again after the war.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Siri turned away not taking the saber and left the medical hall.</p><p>Ferus watched her walk away.</p><p>“She’s still figuring out how to let go of you,” Obi-Wan said, appearing next to Ferus.</p><p>“I hope she can accept I’m not a Jedi anymore,” Ferus said.</p><p>“She will in time,” Obi-Wan assured. “I think this was the closure she needed to start that journey.”</p><p>“Can you give this back to her?” Ferus offered the lightsaber to Obi-Wan.</p><p>Obi-Wan considered the weapon in Ferus’ hand a moment then said. “I think you should keep that, it might serve you well out there in the galaxy. I think Siri not taking it back is her way starting to let you go,” Obi-Wan observed.</p><p>Ferus looked down at the weapon again before clipping it back to his belt. There was a moment of silence.</p><p>“So I understand your married, it’s late but congratulations,” Obi-Wan said as Anakin appeared in the hall.</p><p>“We should have a party,” Anakin said. “Congratulations Ferus, you two are good together.”</p><p>Ferus smiled. “Thank you, my life is Roan and our business now.”</p><p>“I’m happy for you. When the war is over come visit us on <em>Coruscant</em> and show him where you were raised. I think we could all do with some happier times to look forwards to,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>“We’ll do that,” Ferus said.</p><p>“We’ll be jumping to hyperspace shortly,” Anakin informed them.</p><p>“Good,” Obi-Wan said.</p><p>Leaving the two Jedi in the hall Ferus came back to Roan who was still waiting for him outside the medical room. Roan eyed the lightsaber still hanging from Ferus’ belt and asked “Leaving me to go be a Jedi again?”</p><p>“No, I like the path I’ve chosen,” Ferus said, taking his husband’s hand.</p>
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